Sad feelings

Well that's what I get. I made a promise to myself to practice practice practice with my camera. Carry it everywhere. Take photos often. The one day I don't bring it along and I do something spontaneous and stop at a kiddie amusement park with Little J on my way home.

Creepiest place you've ever seen! The park is 28 years old and certainly looks it. It's a lawsuit waiting to happen I'm sure. They had this spooky circus music playing over the loudspeaker. I asked the girl working one of the rides if she heard this music in her nightmares. After a laughing yes, she told me someone filmed some low-budget horror film there years ago. I believe it! It may have just been me but there was an eerie feeling about this place. Could have just been the cloudy drizzly day. (Hence, me not having left the house with my camera.) The rides are however were so little and so innocent and so perfect for his size. How often are the two of us alone with nothing to do?

They had a carousel, a train, and a few little rides, jeeps, boats etc that went round and round. I just had to laugh when he got on the airplane ride. Each little plane had a propeller that kicked off a LOT of wind. Little J HATES wind "blowing me". He says he is going to blow away. (heh) But about the 4th time around and realizing that the two little girls a few planes back were crackin' up, he got into it steering like a madman.

Little J's favorite thing by far were the pony rides. This is where the creepiness slipped away from me. He went to the guy that walked the ponies with no issues, no fear. I assumed in giving up my baby that the high schooler would at least be holding on to J as they walked around the circle. But after strapping him to the saddle with a seat belt of sorts, off they went with the man in front of the pony! I was impressed. Little J sat straight up on the pony and held on to the pommel with both hands as if he had done it many times before. I got little butterflies in my tummy as I watched them walking away from me (and as I write this). My little baby is not a baby any longer came the realization. He looked so big upon that horse. Where in the hell was my camera was all I could think. I need to capture this moment. This mind-boggling eye-opening heart-breaking moment....
I have a sad hunch that this instant will stick with me for a looong time to come.